I Can't Help It
by HGluv4life
Summary: Maysilee has everything taken away from her but there's one thing left to cling to: Love
1. Chapter 1

**I CAN'T HELP IT: Chapter 1**

**Hi guys! So this is my first story and it's not that good, but please review!**

"Hurry Up! We're gonna be late!"

"Calm down I'm going!" I called back to my best friend Ava Everdeen. She was always overreacting. But today I couldn't blame her.

The reaping's not something to be late for.

Grudgingly, I pulled on the pink dress I was to wear. It felt all wrong on my skin, I didn't want to wear it, but I wouldn't want to disrespect the Capitol now would I? I wouldn't want to wear raggedy clothes to the murderous reaping. Today four innocent children would be chosen to fight to the death in the Hunger Games, while we all watched. It was usually two children but this year we had to throw two more children into the batch for the quarter quell. But it doesn't matter; no one from district 12 was going to win anyways. These thoughts that were always running through my brain could never be spoken out loud. I would probably face death or at least extreme torture. But I forced this anger out of my mind for Ava's sake, she also got a little shaky when I went on and on about my hatred.

So I put on the best shoes I could afford and walked out side with Ava. Macy Undersee was waiting outside, right on schedule. Usually when all three of us were together there was never a silent moment. But, no one spoke today unless absolutely necessary. The large crowd was already formed in the square, we had just made it. We are immediately shoved into pins by age. Then the reaping begins. In other districts the reaping starts with a speech made by a previous victor. District twelve has only had one, and he went crazy and killed himself. Our tributes never stand a chance coming from a poor mining town like this. This reaping starts with the reading of this year's Quarter Quell plan, that no one wants to hear again. I don't bother to listen. Then a strange little women shouts "Ladies first!" and I'm pulled out of my daydream. She picks a name from the reaping ball and reads it: "Carter Stevens" She's only 12. We all stare at her in pity as she shakily walks to her death. Then she picks a boy: "Haymitch Abernathy" I recognize the name, it belongs to a very handsome 16 year old. Every girl practically drools over him, but I've never been interested. He seems shrewd and self-centered. He even makes a little show over walking to the stage. Then the woman calls the last girl that will be going into the games. My heart goes dead in my chest when I hear it my name spoken through her lips:

"Maysilee Donner"

**Did you like the first chapter? I'll be updating soon! Please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**I Can't Help It: Chapter 2**

**I'm excited! So I'm writing chapter 2 now!**

Nothing made sense anymore. Time and space swirled around me; but I stood still. Held up only by the two frantic girls on either side of me. Through the mist I do not think of my certain death. I'm filled to the brim with hate. HOW. COULD. THEY? The Capitol will stop at nothing to make our lives a living hell. My parents, my mother and father, filled with so much sadness, so little money. Dead to this world. And now me, just another part of the entertainment. There is no point giving them what they want. So, with all the strength I can muster, I untangle myself from my now sobbing friends. I walk as bravely as I could to the stage.

I stand, feeling so small, staring out at the cloud of pity that seems to waft over the crowd like fog. You would think that I this moment I would be thinking about how terrible this life is. But no, my eyes darted to a boy on stage. Not the one they had called after me that I paid no attention too; but Haymitch Abernathy. He met my eyes for a long moment. Those eyes that I always resented were boring deep into. Then I saw something flicker across his face. It was unmistakable fear. But a voice inside my head said, _"He's afraid for __you."_ No. I couldn't believe for a second that he cared for me at all. But I couldn't help the flashback that followed.

~  
>It was in the dead of winter, my thin coat did nothing to shield the bone-chilling air. I sat alone outside of school. What I was waiting for, I didn't know. I didn't want to go home to the two other people that lived there. To call them parents was a wild stretch of the imagination. So I sat, Ava and Macy had been personally walked home. Oh, how I envied them. But then I saw Parker coming towards me. I never learned her last name. Everyone was too afraid to ask. She stuck her thin freckled face just inches from mine. "Awww, where's your mommy?" she said in a voice that haunts me to this day. "At the peacekeepers house tonight, trying to get a slice of bread for the week?" My stomach churned, it wasn't rare for a woman to spend the night at the horrible peacekeepers house, looking for extra money. But my mom would never. I don't remember what happened next, I remember my hand swinging at her face, then being thrown into a wall. Then a voice, belonging to a slightly younger Haymitch "Leave her alone!" I remember the fight that followed, a voice telling me to run.<p>

~  
>For all I know Haymitch saved my life. But, nothing matters now, my job is to come home alive, this means killing him. I don't worry about this particular thing. 48 people. It's not like either of us is coming home alive. Everything else is a blur. During my final days I don't want to be following orders. So I fall into something very familiar. The little torture chamber inside my brain is open for business again. I've been having hallucinations for a while now. As far back as I can remember, wincing and clamping my hands on my knees for support has been a part of my life. I have a horrible one of the children that are brought to the apothecary shop Ava and her family run. The screams, the moans, the last whimpers before death. By the time Macy walks in I'm shaking uncontrollably. We sit in silence for a while. Then out of nowhere we burst into tears. My two friends are all I have in this world. After today, I'll have nothing. A similar routine accompanies Ava's visit. There's no one left to comfort me. I don't want my parents. They don't want me. We've been living at a stalemate for years. Then we are literally thrown into a train, all four of us cows headed to the meat grinder. I stare at Haymitch again. Something deep inside my soul is stirring.<p>

I'm getting the strangest of feeling staring into those brown eyes, I warm feeling spreads through me, I know I can't be feeling this, I can't but, I can't help it.

**I know it's a little boring buts it's gonna get a lot better in the next chapters! :) Review please!**


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